A Loving Relationship
I was brought up in a home where most of the parenting was done by my mother. My father traveled quite frequently because of his occupation. He would leave for two weeks then come home for a couple days and then leave for another week and so forth. My folk’s relationship was very rocky and shaky. It was always up and down and up and down. When they would argue, I remember telling them, “Why can’t you guys just enjoy the time that you have with each other?” Before my father would leave, my mother would get so upset that he was going again and she would spend most of the time that he was in town frustrated with him. As a child, I obviously didn’t understand all the things that a relationship entails, but I did have a silent inner knowing that there was some unhappiness and frustration going on with them. I used to think to myself as a child that when I grow up and get married, I am never going to argue with my wife and if she get’s mad, then I will just love her and try to understand her. Now as an adult, I can completely understand why couples are the way that they are, especially if there is some emotional or physical neglect or lack of understanding going on in the relationship.
I don’t remember my parents ever telling me anything about them receiving marriage help, although now that I`m older, my mom and dad have both explained that they have gone to a marriage family counselor a few times. I can’t remember how many times my folks have come so close to getting a divorce. In the end they always figured out a way to resolve the issue, reconcile and stop divorce from happening. They have been married for over 35 years now, which is highly commendable, however to this day I still know that they are dealing with some unresolved issues from the past. I do know that they have gotten much closer now that their kids are all grown up and out of the house.
I had a conversation with my mom once about her and my dad’s relationship and I told her, “Saving your Marriage is what I have seen you do time and time again while growing up”. I told her how proud I am of her for hanging in there when the going was getting tough and also that I had realized now as an adult how difficult it must have been for her to try and raise us kids on her own without my father around much. With my mother being very positive she said, “Yes, it was tough at times”, but your father has always provided us with food and a place to live”, and that I completely understood and I have never held anything against him because of that. I know that she has grown to love and accept him and has learned to allow things to be the way that they are. My father was the financial provider and always took us out to eat at nice restaurants when he was in town and we went on many 5 star vacations during the summertime so I am extremely grateful for him. I always remember when I was young that I loved to express to them how much I enjoyed seeing them show love and affection towards each other and when they would, I would so be excited to see that. I believe that now they are much happier than they have ever been together. My dad is traveling much less now so my mother gets to spend much more time with him. In the end, they have decided to make this marriage thing work and Stop Divorce from ever entering the equation.
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Add comment September 20th, 2008